Soft Skills For The Art Of A Successful Negotiation


by Forbes Business Development Council
Republished from Forbes, March 12, 2018

In October of 2012, it was announced that Lucasfilm, the home of the Star Wars brand, would be bought by Walt Disney Company. The acquisition was for $4.05 billion to George Lucas, who was the only shareholder in the company.

This particular sale was an all-time great negotiation. Lucas had been working on his retirement plan for a couple of years, and Lucas and Robert Iger, the Chairman of Walt Disney, began personally speaking about the sale in early 2011. As Iger explained to The New York Times: “There was a lot of trust there.”

What Is A Negotiation?

In today’s competitive environment, there seems to be a notion that when a negotiation takes place, there is a winner and a loser — and no in-between. Often in business, there seems to be an idea that talks are a zero-sum game.

Of course, for skilled negotiators, this is not the case at all, and negotiations can and should be “win/win” situations. A successful negotiation aims to ensure that everyone feels they have gotten at least a little bit of what they wanted. In looking out for not only your interests but also those of your partner, you are able to develop a more robust business relationship. A good working relationship will allow your business to thrive.

Creating A Successful Negotiation Track Record

I’ve been in sales for many decades and love being involved in any little aspect of what I consider to be “the game.” For instance, I can be negotiating something as simple as new phone lines for my offices and, for me, this is an opportunity to play “the game.” Alternatively, I can be working with organizations to close deals that could be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars for my companies, and that’s also something that gets me revved up.

Just because someone is an entrepreneur doesn’t always mean they know the soft skills necessary for a successful negotiation, though. In the decades that I’ve been working in sales — ever since I was a 15-year-old high school student with a work-study –there are some skills that I’ve discovered that have helped me close most of my business negotiations. The goal of any good partnership is to keep the focus on results and what would make the best deal in the long run for both parties. Understanding some of the soft skills necessary for this will help you succeed.

1. Ego: Successful business people have egos, but the reality is that you have to leave your ego at the door in a negotiation. If one or both of the parties have enormous egos, there will be no common ground. You cannot succeed in negotiating because you’re not willing to compromise and give up anything on your end. The emphasis should be on the facts, not attitude or emotions, so both parties look for common ground and shared goals in an agreement.

2. Respect: I cannot say this enough: Respect matters. Being respectful of others is essential to build trust and succeed in negotiation. Respect doesn’t just mean comporting yourself as a professional at all times, even if things get heated. It also means that you respect someone else’s expertise, ideas and time. Having an attitude that signals to others that you are too important and you are not going to let others “waste your time” is not the right approach if you want a meaningful relationship. Maintaining respect will always leave a good impression, even if the negotiation doesn’t close the way you wanted it to.

3. Pragmatism: You have to be pragmatic to see what the other side is trying to accomplish. If you’re practical, you can place yourself in their shoes and understand their concerns. You will be able to negotiate properly, feeling that both parties are gaining from the experience. Pragmatism also serves to keep you humble so that you can be in a position to think through both sides of the issue in the inevitable moments that there is a disagreement.

4. Creativity: Creativity and the ability to think on your feet are also essential soft skills. Sometimes things may seem impossible, or an impasse may occur, and this is when creativity is a necessary element of any negotiation. Stepping away from the situation, rethinking it and then moving back to the negotiating table can keep you and your partner in the game. One of the most critical aspects of developing a creative solution is to ensure that you obtain all the facts should you get to a sticking point.

5. Humor: I can’t tell you how many times in my career humor has helped me close a deal, particularly when things have gotten tough. Humor can be used to gain someone’s trust and also diffuse a tense situation. The reality is that people are drawn to a little fun, and for good reason. One of the benefits of humor is that it helps to relieve stress.

The more soft skills you develop, the better your reputation as a top professional who earns peoples’ trust and gets things done will be. The more your reputation exudes win-win deals, which include respect, creativity and, yes, even humor, the more others will want to do business with you and seek you out.


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